all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
