Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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