Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
How's work?
Spinning.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
