Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
