So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.