I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
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You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
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He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it