great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.