Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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