His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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