Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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