Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
