im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
