im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
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you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
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At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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