how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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