I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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