It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???