i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
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I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
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We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's shark week go big or go home