I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.