You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
