Umm I'm too high to move.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
