I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
