you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
