JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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