You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
