idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
It's never too late to be topless.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Someone came in the potted fern
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
