I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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