Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
