I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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