masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.