we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just wanna be euthanized
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.