i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.