I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.