he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
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Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize