Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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