ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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