hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
23 Times Kids Said the Harshest Things
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
21 Rich People Confess The Best And Worst Things About Being Wealthy
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge