How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.