I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.