Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
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