matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long