i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
