wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Randomize
