real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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