Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
