i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
