Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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