If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
i think i just lost a toe
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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