...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
