Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize