You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
