Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
