No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
