sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
