i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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