You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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