Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
