She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
