WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
