he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
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He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
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Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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