God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
