if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
