It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
