the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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