We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
