I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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