idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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