: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize