me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
