Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
