just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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