so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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