I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He better not be in your backpack
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I look excited, but its just a facade.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
