he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
