I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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